Part of starting this blog is to be able to share not just my thoughts, but the personal pieces of me as well. As a way to give others the opportunity to possibly see themselves through my experiences, and to know that all experiences are universal. And that there is no need to judge ourselves for being human. So today is a personal share.

This was originally written in February 2019, but, along with my second post, was on my mind this morning. They are both writings I knew I would be sharing here, just wasn’t sure when.

I think the time line of two also shows how you can recognize a thing, or need, but it may not be immediately incorporated. Because while I felt these words to be true when I wrote them, there was still more inquiry and discovery to be done; and it is still ongoing. Hope you enjoy the read, and let me know if it opens any self reflection that you will now begin to excavate.

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Sitting in contemplation this morning:( February 2019)

Ready…

I’d long thought that I was ready to be in love and have that romantic relationship. That I had reached a place where I didn’t need it to make me feel complete or whole, but because now I was those things, I was ready to be with someone. My insight this morning came with realizing I was the someone I was ready for. I don’t have to have that other to complete the journey. And its not that I just found this self love and acceptance, I’ve had it for a while.

I went from not even thinking of myself in a personal or connected way, sometimes not even wanting to be here, too knowing that I’m effing AMAZING! And I don’t say that in a cavalier off-handed way, I mean it. Nor is it arrogance, cockiness, or ego (which I’m working on getting rid of). Because we all are, and should see ourselves as the perfect miracles created from pure unconditional limitless love.

But back to my insight. Now I’m not saying I don’t want that, or feel like I can’t have that. I just don’t think that has to be the next immediate or obvious step. I’ve done all this personal growth and self discovery, why not just enjoy and savor this space that I’ve created? There’s no need to rush or be anxious. I genuinely enjoy my own company, and can honestly say I like me as a person. I’m not always my highest self, but I notice when I’m not, and ask that those errors be corrected.

For Love

Love has always been this ideal dream to be obtained(even when I felt I could never have it), this thing I craved on a visceral level. And not because I needed the adoration or attention; I wanted to be the one giving it. That’s what love is to me. The willingness to give what the other person needs, even if you don’t feel like it, you give it anyway.

So I immediately went into “objective” mode, and feeling I had to have this NOW. But my now, and now according to the universe, obviously aren’t the same. And that’s a good thing.
Having this insight let’s me know there’s so much more growth ahead, and I should take the time to get to know the person that’s emerging, before I rush to give her to someone else. ❤