Relationships are here to grow us, and sometimes give us the chance to heal. That is what this relationship was for me.

This was in large part evidenced through my new smile. Not just it’s physical appearance, but how it came to be. Developing an attitude of de-or-nonattachment was not something I was seeking. It was not a conscious part of the journey, it was a byproduct of being exposed to different practices and principles. And the skills developed naturally through osmosis.

So when we came together, and we were able to share this genuine honesty with one another, I was able to hear what he said, and not take it personally, or feel it was a slight, or judgement. My person was not offended, because I heard it with a detachment from the self mentality. I saw it as just this person’s observation and perceiving of this physical form.

It was not the first time this had been mentioned to me; my dentist had recommended it on multiple visits. Which was another part of the acceptance; if I didn’t find it offensive when she said it, why should I find it offensive when he made the observation? But, of course we give different relationships different standards and ways of operating with us.

If you’re this person in my life, you should only see me in this way, and say these types of things to me. But how genuine and authentic of a relationship is that? If you require the person to only say what is palatable, or easy to hear, or that is complimentary to your ego mind. We were able to say what was real and true, but not to be mean or belittle. It felt more like honoring the other; that I am able to say what is, honestly, and know that it will be received thoughtfully, and not with an emotional charge.

I’m still adjusting to this new smile, and reconciling who, and how, I presented before this. I realize that I did smile in pictures a lot with just my lips. Not so much in person, because it wasn’t something of which I was self conscious. But when taking photos, and the smile wasn’t natural, I couldn’t find my full smile.

This was a 13 month process. Ten months for the treatment, and then 3 more months to “lock” everything in place; and now a lifetime of wearing a retainer at night. And just as I adjust to the new smile, I am adjusting to the person who was the catalyst and inspiration to do this not being here to see the end result.

I don’t say I did this “for” him, but I did it for my love of him, and isn’t part of love sometimes doing just for the other person? Though, I am the one who is receiving the benefits and growth of the experience and process, so, I can only be grateful to him for the gift. And maybe that was another part of the why for us. As I know I will be stepping into a more public and visible space, it is beneficial to have the comfort of this new smile. I do not believe the smile I had before would have hindered me, but there is a difference I feel now.

That is why this smile is a love story. Because for now, I cannot see it without also seeing and remembering him; and that he hasn’t seen it, and he still makes me smile. Does he even remember that he started me on this journey?