As with many of my musings this was prompted by something random and seemingly unconnected. I was listening to an episode of the podcast Code Switch; it was about the revitalizing of the Fashion Fair cosmetics brand. So how that morphed into this stream of thought is unclear, but I’m sure there’s a connection; maybe I’ll bring it full circle by the end. And as also usually happens in my musing, it starts seemingly in the middle of a lengthy monologue. This one started with the thought of Lauren Hill. How for a time she was seen as weird or odd or unstable. And how when we do anything outside of the “normal” conformist model of regular society how we get labeled and categorized, especially black folks, by black folks. Because ours can be a very rigidly defined culture. With certain characteristics and behaviors that exist across all class systems; and throughout different social, economic, and educational backgrounds.

So, when Lauren stepped outside of those boundaries, and acted in a way that was seen as questionable, it opened up this speculative dialogue within that black space, and in white spaces as well. Because if black people are questioning this behavior, there must be something here to judge and analyze. And once your life is being examined in such a public way, speculation becomes rampant, and everyone thinks they have the right to narrate your story. Now, I will admit, I don’t know the full story of her journey, even way back then I wasn’t one to give much attention and credence to gossip and sensationalism. How much of it was just her being opened to a more expanded way of seeing the world, and how she existed within it, or how much may have been some mental health issues? But from my perspective it can be a very thin line between the two, and understanding which you’re in and dealing with is vital to navigating your way back to balance and regulation.

Then I thought of Dave Chappelle. How when he walked away from a 50-million-dollar deal there was all this speculation of what was “wrong” with him? Because what sane, rational person walks away from that kind of money? That’s when these broader questions began to flow. Who gave us these ideals of what we should want? And made us question our own mentality if we don’t want these things? Why is it “normal” and expected that everyone should want the million-dollar house, two hundred-thousand-dollar car, and the “luxurious” lavish lifestyle that represents? That success is determined and measured by the material things you can obtain; so, they are a physical representation of that success. And there is nothing wrong with material comforts, luxury comforts. But why is that seen as the only, more universally, accepted measure of success and normal things you “should” want?

I’m coming at this from two angles: our spiritual life, and the secular, societal, cultural norms. Which for me are deeply intertwined, and both inform and influence the other. I won’t be able to express all the expansive and nuanced perspectives that can be explored around these topics, especially since I’m at work, and just trying to get this out in the moment. But this can open the space to examine these inherited beliefs and thought systems, and to see if they hold up for the individual when investigated from within: thoughtfully and truthfully, through the lens of inquiry and reflection.

I guess the reason these topics overlap for me is that so much of our lives is focused and directed towards what we attain and obtain. And what we’re directed to want to attain are accolades, status, and credentials that will get us validated and accepted by, and into, certain spaces that have been designated as desirable. The things we should want to strive for, because they will then allow us to obtain all the material goods that will further validate our worth and worthiness.

And this is not a condemnation or judgement for any of those things, or the desire for them. What I offer is the alternative perspective; that it is ok if you don’t want those things. For those who may not, you can check in with your own desires and find what matters to you, even if it makes you seem odd.

Comfort is something we all want and value: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. We want to feel comfortable and whole and full in all these aspects of our personality and humanness. And whatever that comfort is for the individual, I wish it for all. But let it be yours, and what you want.  

The reason I stress this point, and how it intertwines with the spiritual, is that so often that aspect of us is muted by our focus on just the material and tactile world. And the attention we do give to it can be superficial or rote, or determined by other voices that tell us what it should look like. We may never question the spiritual beliefs we inherit. Either because we don’t feel we have the freedom to do so, or we never find the space and quiet within ourselves to hear our own voice. And to question does not mean you have to turn away from or disavow, I think that causes resistance as well.  The idea that if I question this, am I being disrespectful, or saying my culture and family unit is “wrong”? So, we fall into routine, and it may lose the reverence and beauty that is available within if we develop a more intimate and connected relationship. Not with what we hear from others interpretation, but the deeper more intimate understanding possible when we have a personal relationship with the spiritual. And how that may appear from the outside looking in.

Which brings me back to my opening thought, glad I found my way back; as you see I can have a vast swath of thoughts, and go on these rambling trips. When we seek the spiritual, and don’t restrict it by religious, societal, and cultural definitions, it can show up for us, and through us, in myriad of ways and practices.

The spiritual world is vast; and inclusive of so many modalities, interpretations, and ways of being. There are many communities that are outside of the normal more institutionalized understanding of spiritualty, and how it looks and should be practiced. And when you explore these more unconventional ways you may be seen as unstable, or irrational, odd and different. Not that these things can’t come with their own risk, there are bad actors in the spiritual space as well. Some maliciously, and some maybe misguided. Which is another reason why it is so vital and important to develop and listen to your own personal voice and intuition, so you can trust whatever messages it is sending you.

But you have to be willing to plot your own course, and not let other voices tell you who you need to be, or what is the correct path and way for you. Yes, you can be guided and led, but you must also know that another’s path isn’t the only path; “the finger pointing at the moon isn’t the moon”, that’s not mine, but I don’t know origin.  I don’t know the best way to wrap this all up, so I’m just going to end it here, because this could go on indefinitely. Hope there was enough cohesion to find some value and benefit.